Flash Forward

Lack of courage. Those three words define me precisely.

It's what has been holding me back all those years. It's the hedge I need to cross to be me, to be satisfied about who I am, to be consistent with myself.

This lack of courage evolved to idleness, living day to day not trying to change what I became, not trying to improve my decaying skills. I remember that little boy I was, energetic, enthusiastic, brave and full of life; and ask: what happened? Life cannot be as destructive!

So self-destruction it is. I neglected my soul for years, and I'm cropping the bitter fruits now.

What I need is to start utilizing what's left of my brain cells, to dump all the distractions and start working.

First thing I need to do is to get disconnected from the internet, since it was the hole that sucked me in it and greatly stalling me from continuing my life. I will ditch my smartphone and other wifi connected devices and go old school, books and papers..

I will have plans and stop being a last-minute achiever. Despite the last one didn't fail me so far, but it affected my skills and brain abilities.

I will be spontaneous, buying tickets and jumping between airports. I will go to see Africa this year, a place my heart is being attached to for a while..

I will learn one or two new languages, get one or two technical certificates and start writing the book I always wanted to write.

This is the new me, the one I always wanted to be, and I shall start now, right now.

I have to go..